What I think I understand is that you do not think fairness should be based on what we thought was planned during the marriage.

As I understood what you said earlier, the things I have brought up about prior plans, expectations, and reliance do not matter to you in deciding what is fair. Instead, you are trying to decide what is fair based on what we have and what we need.

So what I hear you saying is that prior commitments and shared understandings do not carry real weight in your fairness analysis. I do not agree with that view, but I think that is the position you have been describing. If I have that wrong, please correct me.

There’s one other mediation issue I’d like to understand better, if you’re willing.

Do you see returning to San Francisco as a legitimate part of my effort to rebuild my life, or do you see that as outside the range of what should count in a fairness analysis?