role: user

text: i need to send a note to Jennifer explaining why i didn't fill out the statement of income and expenses.


role: assistant

text:
Here’s exact text:

Jennifer,

I wanted to explain why I did not fill out the Statement of Income and Expenses.

My concern is that the form frames the mediation too narrowly, too early. In my case, the core issue is not just current monthly cash flow. It is a long-marriage retirement-security problem tied to the structure of the marriage, the role of Lisa’s inheritance, and the practical realities of rebuilding my life after the marriage.

If I fill out the form at the outset, I worry that it will quietly shift the discussion into a narrower exercise about how little I can live on, how aggressively my current budget can be trimmed, and how much income can be imputed to me, before the threshold questions underneath are addressed.

I am not refusing to discuss finances or budget. I am saying that I think those discussions need to come after the basic premises are made explicit, and they should be handled symmetrically rather than as a one-sided examination of my current expenses in isolation.

That is why I focused instead on the attached memo about the three threshold questions I believe need to be addressed first.

Best,
Karl

If you want, I can also give you:
- a softer version,
- a firmer version,
- or a version that explicitly says you can provide the form later if Jennifer thinks it is necessary.


text: no.  let me tell you.


text: Go ahead. Paste what you want it to say.


text:
something like:

hi Jennifer -

Lisa is concerned that i did not fill out the paperwork for Income and Expenses, and that will cause unnecessary delay in the mediation.

to be clear - my income is $0 and my expenses (while living with my mother in hospice) are not representative of what my expenses will be going forward.

i have done the legwork to guess at these expenses, but they remain largely guesswork, and i'm reluctant to start discussing them before mediation begins.


text:
Here’s a clean version:

Hi Jennifer —

Lisa is concerned that I did not fill out the Income and Expenses paperwork and that this may cause unnecessary delay in the mediation.

To be clear, my current income is $0, and my current expenses—while I am living with my mother in hospice—are not representative of what my expenses will be going forward.

I have done the legwork to estimate those future expenses, but at this stage they remain largely estimates, and I am reluctant to start discussing them before mediation begins.

I am not trying to avoid the issue. I am trying to avoid presenting numbers that would be misleading because they are based either on a temporary living situation or on necessary guesswork about what comes next.

Best,
Karl

If you want, I can make it either drier or more conciliatory.


text: let me know how we should proceed.


text:
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text: add that.


text:
Here’s the revised text:

Hi Jennifer —

Lisa is concerned that I did not fill out the Income and Expenses paperwork and that this may cause unnecessary delay in the mediation.

To be clear, my current income is $0, and my current expenses—while I am living with my mother in hospice—are not representative of what my expenses will be going forward.

I have done the legwork to estimate those future expenses, but at this stage they remain largely estimates, and I am reluctant to start discussing them before mediation begins.

I am not trying to avoid the issue. I am trying to avoid presenting numbers that would be misleading because they are based either on a temporary living situation or on necessary guesswork about what comes next.

Please let me know how you think we should proceed.

Best,
Karl

If you want, I can tighten it further or make it sound a little less defensive.