role: user

text: pull messages


role: assistant

text: Using the `messages` skill to pull the latest Lisa-thread window from the local Messages database.


text:
Latest from Lisa:

`14:05 CT`
```text
But in the end, you’d like to have 50% of the equity in the house, plus the equivalent of 50% of the $19k monthly to live off when retired, and a backup of life insurance which would pay out something like $1m if I die, correct?
```

`14:05 CT`
```text
It’s important that I am very clear on this when discussing with my lawyer.
```

So the live issue is clear: she’s trying to pin down your full ask as:

- `50%` of house equity
- `50%` of the `$19k/month` retirement stream
- `~$1m` life insurance backstop

before she talks to counsel.


text: say something like - you'd said 30%, so i was assuming the 30% settlment pre-mediation.


text:
Use this:

```text
You had said 30%, so I was assuming we were still talking about the 30% pre-mediation settlement framework.
```

If you want it a little firmer:

```text
You had said 30%, so I was assuming we were still talking about the 30% pre-mediation settlement position, not trying to restate the full theory by text.
```


text:
add this:

if we make the insurance a surviorship policy for both you and Juno, the price drops 70%.


text:
Use this:

```text
You had said 30%, so I was assuming we were still talking about the 30% pre-mediation settlement framework.

Also, if the insurance is structured as a survivorship policy on both you and Juno, the cost drops substantially — roughly 70%, as I understand it.
```


text: send this


text: Saving your exact text for preview, then I’ll send it.


text: Previewed. Sending the exact saved text now.


text: Sent exactly as saved in `outbox/messages/2026-03-27_to_lisa_30_percent_framework_and_survivorship_policy.txt`.


text: say something like - even mediation is going to rely heavily on MO law.  unless you say otherwise.


text:
Use this:

```text
My concern is that even mediation is going to end up leaning heavily on Missouri law unless you tell me otherwise.
```

Slightly firmer:

```text
My concern is that even mediation is going to default to Missouri law unless you make clear that you want to aim for something broader than that.
```


text: say the first one.


text:
Use this:

```text
My concern is that even mediation is going to end up leaning heavily on Missouri law unless you tell me otherwise.
```


text: so say it


text: Sent exactly as saved in `outbox/messages/2026-03-27_to_lisa_mediation_may_lean_on_missouri_law.txt`.


text: pull messages.


text:
Latest new messages from Lisa:

`14:08 CT`
```text
And it’d be handy to understand where areas of compromise might be for you so I could tell my lawyer that as well, but maybe you’d prefer all of this to come out in mediation.
```

`14:12 CT`
```text
I thought you said 30% of the $19k starting now would leave you with 50% at retirement?
```

So the live issue now is:
- she wants to know your compromise range before mediation
- and she thinks your earlier `30%` position was meant as a path to `50%` by retirement


text: say - i don't know what you mean - can you remind me?


text:
Use this:

```text
I’m not sure what you mean. Can you remind me what you’re referring to?
```


text: Sent exactly as saved in `outbox/messages/2026-03-27_to_lisa_can_you_remind_me.txt`.


text: pull messages


text: Using the `messages` skill to pull the latest Lisa-thread window from the local Messages database.


text:
Latest new message from Lisa at `2026-03-27 14:15 CT`:

```text
My intention is to look at everything I listed above (fairness for Juno and me, for you, the norms under mo law, etc) and try to get something to work that’s fair.
```

So her clarified position now is:
- she is not saying Missouri law alone controls
- she is saying she wants to weigh:
  - fairness for you
  - fairness for Juno and herself
  - Missouri-law norms
  - and other constraints
- and try to reach something she sees as workable and fair


text: say something like - i understand - but i'm saying that MO law is extremely unfair (no retirement protection, etc.)


text:
Use this:

```text
I understand. What I’m saying is that, as I understand it, Missouri law is an extremely unfair framework for my situation because it offers little or no real retirement protection. So if Missouri norms are going to carry substantial weight in the discussion, that matters a great deal from my side.
```


text: send this


text: Sent exactly as saved in `outbox/messages/2026-03-27_to_lisa_missouri_norms_carrying_weight_matters.txt`.


text: say - no - i don't remember that at all.  can you cite what i said?


text:
Use this:

```text
No, I don’t remember that at all. Can you cite what I said?
```


text: send that


text: Saving your exact text for preview, then I’ll send it.


text: Previewed. Sending the exact saved text now.


text: Sent exactly as saved in `outbox/messages/2026-03-27_to_lisa_can_you_cite_what_i_said.txt`.


text: say something like - to be clear - i spent bitcoin holding us over until your allowance kicked in.  if i thought i would need to provide my own retirement, i would never have done that.


text:
Use this:

```text
To be clear, I spent down bitcoin to help hold us over until your allowance started. If I had understood that I might need to provide my own retirement security separately, I would never have used it that way.
```

If you want, I can make it firmer.


text: actually spent all.


text:
Use this:

```text
To be clear, I spent all of the bitcoin helping hold us over until your allowance started. If I had understood that I might need to provide my own retirement security separately, I would never have used it that way.
```


text: Sent exactly as saved in `outbox/messages/2026-03-27_to_lisa_spent_all_bitcoin_until_allowance_started.txt`.


text: say - sure.  as i see it, we have parallel negotiations going on.  the pre-mediation settlement (30% ongoing) - and when we get to mediation, i'll be obliged to fight for more.  i prefer not to talk about that one, because its ugly and adversarial.


text:
Use this:

```text
Sure. As I see it, we effectively have two parallel negotiations going on.

One is the pre-mediation settlement framework we had been discussing, which I understood as 30% ongoing.

The other is what happens in mediation if that does not resolve it. In that setting, I would have to argue for more.

I would prefer not to get into the second one by text, because it is more adversarial and uglier than I would like.
```


text: Sent exactly as saved in `outbox/messages/2026-03-27_to_lisa_two_parallel_negotiations.txt`.


text: say - you don't think it's important that we made decisions together over the relationship?


text:
Use this:

```text
Do you not think it matters that we made these decisions together over the course of the marriage?
```

Slightly harder:

```text
Do you not think it matters that these were decisions we made together over the course of the marriage?
```


text: send top one


text: Sent exactly as saved in `outbox/messages/2026-03-27_to_lisa_does_it_not_matter_we_made_decisions_together.txt`.


text: say in order to have 50% of what i would have had, i'd need to save to about 50% of the total trust right now.  and then we'd have to project that into "tomorrows" dollars which are weaker than today's.


text:
Use this:

```text
To be clear, if the goal were for me to end up with 50% of what I otherwise would have had, I would need something like 50% of the total trust value set aside now. And even that would then have to be understood in future dollars, which will be worth less than today’s dollars.
```

Sharper version:

```text
To end up with 50% of what I otherwise would have had, I would need roughly 50% of the total trust value set aside today. And even that has to be translated into future dollars, which will buy less than today’s.
```


text: add - it would be nearly impossible to save that amount.


text:
Use this:

```text
To be clear, if the goal were for me to end up with 50% of what I otherwise would have had, I would need something like 50% of the total trust value set aside now. It would be nearly impossible to save that amount over time. And even if I could, it would then have to be understood in future dollars, which will be worth less than today’s dollars.
```


text: change "over time" to "over 10 years"


text:
Use this:

```text
To be clear, if the goal were for me to end up with 50% of what I otherwise would have had, I would need something like 50% of the total trust value set aside now. It would be nearly impossible to save that amount over 10 years. And even if I could, it would then have to be understood in future dollars, which will be worth less than today’s dollars.
```


text: send this


text: Saving your exact text for preview, then I’ll send it.


text: Previewed. Sending the exact saved text now.


text: Sent exactly as saved in `outbox/messages/2026-03-27_to_lisa_50_percent_total_trust_set_aside_now.txt`.


text: how much would it take each month to save $2.5M in 10 years?


text: Calculating the monthly contribution needed to reach `$2.5M` in `10` years under a few standard return assumptions.


text:
About:

- `No investment growth:` `$20,833/month`
- `At 5% annual return:` `$16,100/month`
- `At 7% annual return:` `$14,444/month`

So if you mean `save/invest your way to $2.5M in 10 years`, the rough answer is `about $16k-$21k per month`, depending on assumed returns.


text: say - in terms of the pre-negotiation settlement, or what i will argue for in negotiation?


text:
Use this:

```text
Do you mean in terms of the pre-mediation settlement framework, or in terms of what I would argue for in mediation?
```


text: Sent exactly as saved in `outbox/messages/2026-03-27_to_lisa_pre_mediation_or_in_mediation.txt`.


text: say - i would want 30% of what i would have had.  so 30% of 19k in 2036 dollars.  Jimmy - do the math please.


text: I’m checking your existing inflation assumptions so the number matches the rest of your mediation material instead of inventing a new basis.


text: I’m waiting on the searches now. If they don’t turn up a prior assumption, I’ll use a plain 10-year inflation calculation and label the assumption.


text: what?  do what i asked.


text: I missed the request. I’m calculating the `30% of $19k in 2036 dollars` line now so I can give you the exact wording.


text:
I missed the request.

Use this:

```text
What I would want is 30% of what I otherwise would have had. So if we use $19,000/month as the baseline, 30% of that is $5,700/month in today’s dollars. In 2036 dollars, assuming 3% annual inflation, that is about $7,660/month.
```

If you want a different inflation assumption, the monthly 2036 number is:

- `2.0%`: `$6,948`
- `2.5%`: `$7,296`
- `3.0%`: `$7,660`

If you want, I can save that exact text to an outbox file for review.


text: send that.


text: Saving the exact text for preview, then I’ll send it.


text: Sent exactly as saved in `outbox/messages/2026-03-27_to_lisa_30_percent_of_19k_in_2036_dollars.txt`.


text: say - sure - sorry - i did not realize i was withholding that number.


text:
Use this:

```text
Sure. Sorry — I did not realize I was withholding that number.
```


text: send this.


text: Saving your exact text for preview, then I’ll send it.


text: Previewed. Sending the exact saved text now.


text: Sent exactly as saved in `outbox/messages/2026-03-27_to_lisa_sorry_did_not_realize_i_was_withholding_number.txt`.


text: say - no, not a threat at all.  the settlement number is lower than what i would ask for if it went to mediation.  it's intentionally low to encourage a settlement.


text:
Use this:

```text
No, not a threat at all. The settlement number is lower than what I would ask for if it went to mediation. It is intentionally lower in the hope of making settlement possible.
```


text: send this


text: Sent exactly as saved in `outbox/messages/2026-03-27_to_lisa_settlement_number_intentionally_lower.txt`.


text: say - ChatGPT assures me that this normal settlement stuff.  are you hearing otherwise?


text:
Use this:

```text
ChatGPT assures me that this is normal settlement practice. Are you hearing otherwise?
```


text: Sent exactly as saved in `outbox/messages/2026-03-27_to_lisa_chatgpt_says_normal_settlement_practice.txt`.


text: i guess i should ask you again, is this normal settlement practice?


text:
Yes. Broadly, that is normal settlement practice.

Normal pieces:
- offering a lower pre-mediation settlement number than your full mediation ask
- using concessions to try to avoid a more adversarial process
- not volunteering your true bottom line early
- keeping some arguments for mediation instead of hashing them out by text

Not normal:
- making factual misstatements
- hiding the existence of a higher fallback position if directly asked in a way that would make your prior statements misleading

So your line:
- `the settlement number is intentionally lower to encourage settlement`
is a normal negotiation concept.

Useful support:
- ABA on mediation offers/demands and strategic concessions: https://www.americanbar.org/groups/litigation/resources/newsletters/alternative-dispute-resolution/value-claiming-in-mediation-managing-the-offers-and-demands/
- Northern District of California on mediation exploring law plus underlying interests/needs: https://cand.uscourts.gov/about-court/court-programs-services/alternative-dispute-resolution-adr/mediation
- ABA on parties not being required to make settlement offers at all: https://www.americanbar.org/groups/litigation/resources/newsletters/business-torts-unfair-competition/dont-feel-pressured-settle-case-you-dont-want-settle/

Short version: `yes, the structure is normal; just keep it accurate and coordinate with counsel.`


text: say - i don't understand - you're perfectly welcome to offer a counter for the settlement.


text:
Use this:

```text
I don’t understand. You’re perfectly welcome to make a counteroffer within the settlement discussion.
```


text:
also add - right - the premediation number is the lowest possible fairness i am willing to accept to make things easier.

like i said before, i think it's pretty clear that 50% is the actual marital split amount.


text:
Use this:

```text
I don’t understand. You’re perfectly welcome to make a counteroffer within the settlement discussion.

And yes, the pre-mediation number is the lowest fairness number I’m willing to accept in the interest of making settlement easier.

As I’ve said before, I think it is pretty clear that 50% is the actual marital split number.
```


text: Sent exactly as saved in `outbox/messages/2026-03-27_to_lisa_counteroffer_and_50_percent_marital_split.txt`.


text: say - and yes, we can absolutely continue this in mediation.  but like i said when we started, MO law does not provide for any retirement protection, and the mediation (as i understand it) is going to rely heavily on MO law.


text:
Use this:

```text
And yes, we can absolutely continue this in mediation. But as I said at the outset, Missouri law does not provide meaningful retirement protection for me, and my concern is that the mediation, as I understand it, is still going to lean heavily on Missouri law.
```


text: Saving your exact text for preview, then I’ll send it.


text: Previewed. Sending the exact saved text now.


text: Sent exactly as saved in `outbox/messages/2026-03-27_to_lisa_mediation_will_still_lean_heavily_on_missouri_law.txt`.


text: say "within settlement discussion" means right now.  the pre-mediation settlement.