role: user

text: can you pull the messages from Lisa


role: assistant

text: Syncing the Lisa thread (last 30 days) into the rolling JSONL, then I’ll show the newest messages.


text:
Latest from Lisa in the last-30-days export (through **2026-03-01 10:57 PT**):

- **2026-03-01 10:43 Lisa:** “Yes, that’s what I’m working toward… define what we each consider ‘shared’…”
- **2026-03-01 10:57 Lisa:** Liked your message (“Honestly, I don’t really know yet… ask counsel…”)


text: i'd like to ask Lisa if i can ask her questions.


text:
Proposed text to Lisa (verbatim):

“Lisa — I know we’re trying to keep things calm and practical, and I’m not looking to argue. But I have some questions I’m carrying about the ‘why’ side of this that I’d like to ask for my own understanding/closure. Would you be open to me sending a short set of questions? If text isn’t the right medium, I’m open to a short call instead.”

If you say “send exactly this”, I’ll send it as-is.


text: maybe cite the opacity from earlier and offer to answer her questions as well.


text:
“Lisa — I know we both mentioned the opacity of doing this through ChatGPT/text, and I’m not looking to argue. But I have some questions I’m carrying about the ‘why’ side of this that I’d like to ask for my own understanding/closure. Would you be open to me sending a short set of questions? And of course, I’m happy to answer yours as well. If text isn’t the right medium, I’m open to a short call instead.”

If you say “send exactly this”, I’ll send it as-is.


text: cite the opacity as the reason i want to ask questions please.


text:
“Lisa — I know we’ve both mentioned the opacity of doing this through ChatGPT/text, and that’s part of why I’m feeling the need to ask some direct questions about the ‘why’ side of this, for my own understanding/closure. Would you be open to me sending a short set of questions? And of course, I’m happy to answer yours as well. If text isn’t the right medium, I’m open to a short call instead.”

If you say “send exactly this”, I’ll send it as-is.


text: can you spend some effort trying to rewrite that more cohesively?


text:
“Lisa — you said (and I agree) that doing this through ChatGPT/text creates a lot of opacity. I’m feeling that, and I’d like to reduce it by asking a short set of direct questions about the “why” side of this, just for my own understanding/closure. Are you open to that? And of course, I’m happy to answer any questions you have too. If text isn’t the right medium, I’m open to a short call instead.”

If you say “send exactly this”, I’ll send it as-is.


text: leave out the phone call option - it's easier to keep this civil using chatgpt and texts.


text:
“Lisa — you said (and I agree) that doing this through ChatGPT/text creates a lot of opacity. I’m feeling that, and I’d like to reduce it by asking a short set of direct questions about the “why” side of this, just for my own understanding/closure. Are you open to that? And of course, I’m happy to answer any questions you have too.”

If you say “send exactly this”, I’ll send it as-is.


text: can you entirely rewrite it?


text:
“I’ve been feeling the opacity we talked about in doing this through ChatGPT/text. To reduce that on my side, I’d like to ask you a short set of direct questions about the reasons for the divorce, for my own understanding and closure. Are you open to that? And I’m happy to answer any questions you have too.”

If you say “send exactly this”, I’ll send it as-is.


text: where is the conversation json stored?


text: `records/communications/lisa_text_messages_last30d.jsonl`


text: file filename


text: full path


text: `/Users/qarl/project/divorce/records/communications/lisa_text_messages_last30d.jsonl`


text: can you give me a quick summary of my anger issues.


text:
Your anger is mostly about **opacity + withheld truth**, not “random irritation.” Themes so far:

- **No fair chance to fix things:** you feel Lisa didn’t name core realities (e.g., “high alert / tracking moods”) in couples therapy, so you couldn’t respond to it or improve it.
- **Late, fundamental reframing:** libido/sex-drive framing for years, then only after separation: “I don’t want a romantic/sexual partnership (with anyone).”
- **No concrete causal debrief:** after the Feb 3 fight, you didn’t get a clear “here’s what happened and why this led to divorce” explanation, just abstract direction statements.
- **Ongoing emotional shutout:** logistics/finance coordination exists, but you still feel blocked from asking and getting answers to basic “why” questions (including “why wasn’t this discussed in therapy?”).
- **Speculative motive concerns:** fear she stayed while financially dependent and left once independently stable (trust distributions).
- **Possible repeating pattern:** “not wanting to hurt him” as a driver (in therapy and historically), raising the question of whether she withheld truth to avoid hurting you, at the cost of honesty and repair.


text: I’ve been thinking more about the opacity issue we’ve talked about, and I’m feeling frustrated that I still have questions about the emotional side of this. Could I ask you a few questions in that space, one at a time? Short answers are fine, and “pass” is fine. I’ll reciprocate


text:
Proposed text (verbatim):

“I’ve been thinking more about the opacity issue we’ve talked about, and I’m feeling frustrated that I still have unanswered questions about the emotional side of this. Could I ask you a few questions, one at a time? Short answers are fine, and “pass” is fine. I’ll reciprocate if you have questions for me too.”

If you say “send exactly this”, I’ll send it as-is.


text: send exactly this


text: Sent. Logged in `outbox/messages/2026-03-02_to_lisa_questions_one_at_a_time.txt`.