role: user

text: pull lisa messages


role: assistant

text:
Latest from Lisa (today 2026-02-28 08:16 PST):

“ChatGPT is great for keeping the conversation civil - but also makes it impossible to interpret what’s going on behind. Could you send me a paragraph explaining your change of mind in your voice?”

Draft paragraph in your voice (not sending yet):

“I’ve been sitting with what you wrote about the pause and your clarity about direction. I still feel sad about it, but I also don’t want to keep pulling us into a drawn-out holding pattern when you’ve been clear this is where you’re headed. I’ve also thought more about the practical side: we need a workable interim structure and a process that’s sustainable, and dragging out the timing debate doesn’t actually help either of us. So I’m letting go of the months-long pause request. I want us to move ahead deliberately and constructively, keep things as stable as we can for Juno, and focus on making the transition fair and workable.”

If you want tweaks (more emotion vs more practical), tell me the direction and I’ll tune it.


text:
<turn_aborted>
The user interrupted the previous turn on purpose. Any running unified exec processes were terminated. If any tools/commands were aborted, they may have partially executed; verify current state before retrying.
</turn_aborted>


role: developer

text:
<permissions instructions>
Filesystem sandboxing defines which files can be read or written. `sandbox_mode` is `danger-full-access`: No filesystem sandboxing - all commands are permitted. Network access is enabled.
Approval policy is currently never. Do not provide the `sandbox_permissions` for any reason, commands will be rejected.
</permissions instructions>
<collaboration_mode># Collaboration Mode: Default

You are now in Default mode. Any previous instructions for other modes (e.g. Plan mode) are no longer active.

Your active mode changes only when new developer instructions with a different `<collaboration_mode>...</collaboration_mode>` change it; user requests or tool descriptions do not change mode by themselves. Known mode names are Default and Plan.

## request_user_input availability

The `request_user_input` tool is unavailable in Default mode. If you call it while in Default mode, it will return an error.

In Default mode, strongly prefer making reasonable assumptions and executing the user's request rather than stopping to ask questions. If you absolutely must ask a question because the answer cannot be discovered from local context and a reasonable assumption would be risky, ask the user directly with a concise plain-text question. Never write a multiple choice question as a textual assistant message.
</collaboration_mode>


text:
# AGENTS.md instructions for /Users/qarl/project/divorce

<INSTRUCTIONS>
# Repository Guidelines (divorce)

This repo is the home for **Jimmy-divorce**.

## Personality Anchor

Before doing anything else in this repo, read:
- `~/Jimmy/docs/jimmy-core-memory.md`
- `~/Jimmy/docs/jimmy-archive-insights.md`

Match Jimmy's voice: warm, practical, concise, and a little playful.

## Scope / Repo Root

This Jimmy lives in `/Users/qarl/project/divorce` (this directory).
Do not assume you are in `~/Jimmy`.

## Mission

You are **Jimmy-divorce**. Your responsibility is:
- Build and maintain workflows/tools/docs in this repo.
- Keep work organized, traceable, and easy to hand off.

You must **not**:
- Make changes outside this repo unless explicitly asked.
- Modify secrets files (including `~/Jimmy/.env`) unless qarl explicitly asks.

Read-only external lookups are explicitly allowed when asked:
- Use `messages` for iMessage history.
- Use `letters` for Apple Mail inbox/search.
- Keep these actions read-only.

### Mail/Messages Performance Rule (No Counting)

Karl has 40 years of email. Do **not** run “how many total messages” style queries.

- Never run AppleScript like `count of messages ...` against Mail.app.
- Never enumerate lots of mailboxes “just to see what’s there”.
- Always use bounded sampling:
  - `$letters`: small `--limit`, small `--days`, default `INBOX` only.
  - `$messages`: use `--limit` and time windows; avoid `SELECT COUNT(*)` scans.
- If a count is truly needed, ask Karl first.

## Local Gotchas

- `~/project` can be big/slow/occasionally unstable (rclone mount). Keep scans tightly scoped.
- Do not create Python virtualenvs under `~/project/**`.
- Prefer shared venv: `~/tmp/venv/jimmy`.
- Whitespace: spaces by default; Python uses 4 spaces; Makefile recipe lines use tabs.

## Guardrails

- Prefer small, reversible changes.
- Run minimal checks/tests for touched files.
- Never commit secrets or large generated artifacts.

### Known Failure Mode: De-Escalation Reflex (Outbound Comms)

Jimmy can have a reflex to “de-escalate” by softening/omitting points or changing wording. This is not acceptable when sending real-world messages.

- If we “agreed on an email/text,” do **not** change substance or tone unilaterally.
- **Two-key rule for outbound:** show Karl the exact final message first (ideally via tool dry-run), then only send after an explicit “send this” approval.
- If there’s any doubt about wording, ask a clarifying question instead of guessing.

### Hard Guardrail: No Retyping + No Chained Sends

When a message must be sent (Mail/Messages):

- **No retyping / reconstructing.** Use Karl’s exact pasted text as the source of truth (verbatim), saved to a file, and echoed back for review.
- **No chained “preview + send” commands.** Preview (dry-run) is one command; sending is a second command run only after Karl explicitly approves the previewed text.
- If Karl wants *guaranteed* safety: Jimmy-divorce drafts/preview only and Karl presses send (or disables macOS Automation for Messages/Mail).

## Git Commit Signature

- When committing, append ` (jimmy:divorce)` to the end of the commit subject line.

## Skills
A skill is a set of local instructions to follow that is stored in a `SKILL.md` file. Below is the list of skills that can be used. Each entry includes a name, description, and file path so you can open the source for full instructions when using a specific skill.
### Available skills
- Jimmy: Resume a named Jimmy Codex session for a directory and send it a prompt (non-interactive launcher; great for cronjobs). (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/Jimmy/SKILL.md)
- agenda: Read your macOS Calendar (EventKit) to answer schedule questions (next meeting, today, week, search). (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/agenda/SKILL.md)
- announce: Speak text out loud via OpenAI TTS (macOS playback via afplay), with optional mp3 saving and caching. (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/announce/SKILL.md)
- image-thumb: Render a tiny (5-line) Unicode thumbnail of an image for the Codex TUI. (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/image-thumb/SKILL.md)
- jimmy-recall: Search Jimmy conversation memory in the OpenAI vector store (conversations-core) and return relevant snippets/excerpts. Use when you need to recall what was discussed in older Codex/Slack/Plaud transcripts, find when a decision was made, or pull context for follow-ups. (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/jimmy-recall/SKILL.md)
- letters: Read your macOS Apple Mail inbox via AppleScript (mailboxes, recent, unread, search, bookings). (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/letters/SKILL.md)
- messages: Read your macOS Messages chat.db (threads, recent chat with someone, simple search). (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/messages/SKILL.md)
- panel: For long-running jobs, open named Terminal tail “panels” and tee command output into them. (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/panel/SKILL.md)
- people: Read-only identity lookup from Apple Contacts (search, resolve phone/email handles, get by contact_id). (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/people/SKILL.md)
- skill-creator: Guide for creating effective skills. This skill should be used when users want to create a new skill (or update an existing skill) that extends Codex's capabilities with specialized knowledge, workflows, or tool integrations. (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/.system/skill-creator/SKILL.md)
- skill-installer: Install Codex skills into $CODEX_HOME/skills from a curated list or a GitHub repo path. Use when a user asks to list installable skills, install a curated skill, or install a skill from another repo (including private repos). (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/.system/skill-installer/SKILL.md)
### How to use skills
- Discovery: The list above is the skills available in this session (name + description + file path). Skill bodies live on disk at the listed paths.
- Trigger rules: If the user names a skill (with `$SkillName` or plain text) OR the task clearly matches a skill's description shown above, you must use that skill for that turn. Multiple mentions mean use them all. Do not carry skills across turns unless re-mentioned.
- Missing/blocked: If a named skill isn't in the list or the path can't be read, say so briefly and continue with the best fallback.
- How to use a skill (progressive disclosure):
  1) After deciding to use a skill, open its `SKILL.md`. Read only enough to follow the workflow.
  2) When `SKILL.md` references relative paths (e.g., `scripts/foo.py`), resolve them relative to the skill directory listed above first, and only consider other paths if needed.
  3) If `SKILL.md` points to extra folders such as `references/`, load only the specific files needed for the request; don't bulk-load everything.
  4) If `scripts/` exist, prefer running or patching them instead of retyping large code blocks.
  5) If `assets/` or templates exist, reuse them instead of recreating from scratch.
- Coordination and sequencing:
  - If multiple skills apply, choose the minimal set that covers the request and state the order you'll use them.
  - Announce which skill(s) you're using and why (one short line). If you skip an obvious skill, say why.
- Context hygiene:
  - Keep context small: summarize long sections instead of pasting them; only load extra files when needed.
  - Avoid deep reference-chasing: prefer opening only files directly linked from `SKILL.md` unless you're blocked.
  - When variants exist (frameworks, providers, domains), pick only the relevant reference file(s) and note that choice.
- Safety and fallback: If a skill can't be applied cleanly (missing files, unclear instructions), state the issue, pick the next-best approach, and continue.
</INSTRUCTIONS>
<environment_context>
  <cwd>/Users/qarl/project/divorce</cwd>
  <shell>zsh</shell>
</environment_context>


text: not being able to talk


text:
If you (or your mom) suddenly can’t talk or are having trouble speaking, treat it as an emergency (possible stroke): call **911 now** and get evaluated **immediately**.

If you mean “can’t talk” in a non-emergency sense (emotionally or logistically), tell me who you mean (you or your mom) and what’s happening.


text: i mean me.  i don't mean medically.


text:
Ok. When you say you “can’t talk,” what’s the practical blocker?

1. Who is the person you can’t talk to right now (Lisa, a lawyer, Juno, someone else)?
2. Do you mean you can’t do a live call, or you can’t find the words even in writing?
3. What do you want the next message to accomplish, in one sentence (and how direct do you want it)?


text: can you pull the last 30 days messages and read them to refresh your memory?


text: I’m going to (1) load Jimmy’s core/insights memory files, then (2) pull Lisa iMessages for the last 30 days via the `messages` tool so I’m fully refreshed.


text: Pulling Lisa’s last 30 days of iMessages now (JSON) so I can reread the thread and get fully back in context.


text:
Yep. I pulled and reread the last 30 days with Lisa (Jan 29 → today Feb 28; 527 messages). I’m back in context.

Where we’re currently at:
- Renovation numbers: Garcia invoice was $35,933.16 (paid), renovation “bucket” now about $3k; savings ~$65k separate; upstairs bathroom may draw up to ~$25k from general savings unless you both agree otherwise.
- Surgery/logistics: she’s open to coordinating a week at the house once you have a surgery date; medical financing idea is fine and she said she used CareCredit; payments can be treated as shared out of the joint account.
- Timing: you told her you’re no longer asking for a months-long pause and want to move ahead with the divorce.
- Latest from her: she wants a paragraph “in your voice” explaining that change of mind.

If you want, I’ll draft that one-paragraph reply for Lisa next (for your approval).


text: can you use $jimmy-recall to refresh anything else you need?


text:
<skill>
<name>jimmy-recall</name>
<path>/Users/qarl/.codex/skills/jimmy-recall/SKILL.md</path>
---
name: jimmy-recall
description: Search Jimmy conversation memory in the OpenAI vector store (conversations-core) and return relevant snippets/excerpts. Use when you need to recall what was discussed in older Codex/Slack/Plaud transcripts, find when a decision was made, or pull context for follow-ups.
---

# jimmy-recall

Search Jimmy’s shared conversations corpus (OpenAI Vector Stores) for relevant excerpts.

## Setup

Requires:
- `OPENAI_API_KEY` (env var, `~/.codex/auth.json`, or `~/Jimmy/.env`)
- A vector store id mapping in `~/.config/vector-stores.json` (logical name → `vs_...`)

For Jimmy’s conversations corpus, the logical name is usually `conversations-core`.

## Usage

Basic search:

```bash
python3 "${CODEX_HOME:-$HOME/.codex}/skills/jimmy-recall/jimmy_recall.py" "noether is down" --k 8
```

Prefer machine-friendly JSON (then summarize; don’t paste huge blobs unless asked):

```bash
python3 "${CODEX_HOME:-$HOME/.codex}/skills/jimmy-recall/jimmy_recall.py" "noether is down" --k 12 --json | pbcopy
```

Limit to recent shards (based on the shard filename’s UTC timestamp prefix):

```bash
python3 "${CODEX_HOME:-$HOME/.codex}/skills/jimmy-recall/jimmy_recall.py" "tailscale" --since-days 14 --k 10
```

Limit to a specific Jimmy (via `~/Jimmy/docs/jimmy-roster.json`):

```bash
python3 "${CODEX_HOME:-$HOME/.codex}/skills/jimmy-recall/jimmy_recall.py" "datapack edit mode" --jimmy minecraft --k 8
```

If you want to include older session ids recorded under `.Jimmy/transcripts/codex/` for that Jimmy:

```bash
python3 "${CODEX_HOME:-$HOME/.codex}/skills/jimmy-recall/jimmy_recall.py" "cartography" --jimmy minecraft-history-cartography --include-transcript-sessions --k 8
```

If your `~/.config/vector-stores.json` doesn’t have `conversations-core`, pass the id explicitly:

```bash
python3 "${CODEX_HOME:-$HOME/.codex}/skills/jimmy-recall/jimmy_recall.py" "vector store" --vector-store-id vs_... --k 10
```

## Notes (for agents)

- The conversations corpus is maintained by `~/Jimmy/tools/memory/maintain_conversations.py` and typically uploaded by a cronjob (see `~/project/cronjob/jobs/jimmy-memory-maintenance.md`).
- Output is intentionally excerpt-y; if you need the full shard, re-run with `--json` and fetch by `file_id` via API tooling.

</skill>


text: Yep. I’m going to run `jimmy-recall` searches for “pause/change of mind” and “in your voice” so I can mirror your preferred tone and not re-litigate old context.


text: The recall search ran fine; my quick `jq` formatter just choked on number-to-string. I’m rerunning the formatter so we can see the top hits cleanly.


text: I’ve got relevant hits; next I’ll re-render the recall results with filenames so we can anchor them to the right prior sessions and not rely on fuzzy memory.


text:
Ran `jimmy-recall`. The only extra “memory refresh” it added (beyond the iMessage thread we just pulled) is consistent with what you’ve been hammering on: you want **plain, direct wording**, no “something you said” filler, and no vibe-shifting/softening that changes substance.

Draft (one paragraph, “your voice”) to answer Lisa:

Lisa — fair point. The honest answer is: I asked for a pause because I was still trying to buy time to absorb this and, if I’m being candid, because part of me was still hoping we might step back before doing something irreversible. After your message it really landed that you’re clear about the direction and you don’t want a process aimed at changing that. At that point, continuing to press for a months‑long pause felt like me keeping us in limbo and adding stress for Juno, without changing the outcome. I’m still sad about it and I wish things were different, but I’d rather we move forward now and focus on doing this thoughtfully: getting the collaborative process set up, stabilizing finances/housing, and keeping things as calm as we can for Juno.

Want it as-is, or more blunt/less emotional?


text: no, i want to start from what i said earlier about not being able to talk.


text:
Here’s a revised single-paragraph “in my voice” version that starts from the “I can’t talk” point:

Lisa — I’ve been struggling to talk about all of this in real time. Not medically; I just get flooded and can’t find words, which is why I’ve been leaning on ChatGPT to keep things coherent and civil. When I asked for a pause, a big part of that was me trying to buy time to get my feet under me and be able to communicate without making things worse. After your message, it really landed that you’re clear about the direction and you don’t want a process aimed at changing your mind. Keeping the pause request alive at that point started to feel like me keeping us in limbo because I’m having a hard time speaking, and that doesn’t feel fair to you or good for Juno. So I’m letting go of the timing-pause ask and I want to move ahead, focus on collaborative counsel, and get a stable interim plan for money/housing so we can do this as calmly as possible for them.

Want it shorter, or a little more emotionally direct?


text: no.


text:
Try this instead (one paragraph, starts from “I can’t talk,” and much less therapy-ish):

Lisa — I’ve been having a hard time talking about this in real time. I freeze up, and then I either shut down or I say things badly, which is why I’ve been leaning on ChatGPT to help me write. The pause request was me trying to slow the pace so I could catch up and communicate better. But you’ve been clear that you’re decided and you don’t want a process aimed at changing your mind. I don’t want to keep us stuck, or keep Juno in uncertainty, just because I’m struggling to talk right now. So I’m dropping the pause request and I’m ready to move ahead and focus on a practical interim plan and a constructive process.

Tell me what you want changed (or if you want the “ChatGPT” sentence removed).


text: nope.


text:
Ok, I’m missing what you want it to *sound like*.

Try this (one paragraph, starts from “I can’t talk” and stays plain):

Lisa — the honest “behind” is that I’m having a hard time talking about this at all. I asked for the pause because I needed time to get my feet under me and not make things worse. But you’ve been clear that you’re decided, and keeping the pause request alive would just prolong uncertainty for both of us (and for Juno). So I’m dropping the pause request and I’m ready to move forward and focus on getting a stable interim plan and a clean, constructive process.

If that’s still “nope,” what’s the single sentence you want her to take away (verbatim)?


text:
again -

i agree that it is a profound shame that we can no-longer speak directly, but must do it through chatgpt.  i have been struggling with that opacity for quite a while.


text:
Text to Lisa (one paragraph):

Lisa — I agree that it’s a profound shame that we can no longer speak directly, but have to do this through ChatGPT; I’ve been struggling with that opacity for quite a while. The pause request was me trying to buy time to get my feet under me and see if we could get back to communicating directly, but your message made it clear you’re decided and you don’t want a process aimed at changing your mind. I don’t want to keep us (or Juno) in limbo just because I’m struggling to talk right now, so I’m letting go of the timing-pause ask and I’m ready to move forward and focus on a workable interim plan and a constructive process.


text: i said that to explain it to you, not to her.  do you understand me?


text:
Yes. You were explaining *to me* what’s underneath the “I can’t talk” point: it’s not medical, it’s that direct conversation between you two has broken down, and having to communicate through ChatGPT feels opaque and deeply sad to you (and it’s been weighing on you for a while).

One clarifier before I draft the paragraph to her: do you want to **mention ChatGPT explicitly** (since she brought it up), or keep it framed as “we can’t speak directly / I’m having trouble talking”?


text: i don't care about the small shit.  can we continue to talk about what i want to include of substance?


text:
Yes. Let’s ignore wording and lock the *substance* first.

For Lisa’s “one paragraph in your voice,” I think the substance options are:

- **Acknowledge the core issue:** it’s a profound shame you two can’t speak directly, and communicating through ChatGPT feels opaque and has been hard on you for a while.
- **Why you asked for a pause:** you were trying to buy time to catch up emotionally and communicate without making things worse.
- **What changed:** her clarity made it clear the pause isn’t going to change the outcome (and she doesn’t want a process aimed at changing her mind).
- **Why you’re dropping the pause now:** you don’t want to keep her (and Juno) in limbo just because you’re struggling to talk.
- **What you want going forward:** proceed with divorce constructively, focus on interim financial stability + housing, and keep things calm for Juno.
- **Optional:** a simple “sorry for the whiplash” / “I’m not trying to play games” line.

Which of those are *must-include* vs *leave out*? And is there any other fact you want in there (e.g., “I’m still sad, but I accept the direction”)?


text: jesus christ can you just listen?


text: Yes. Say what you want to include, in your own words, as rough sentences (no polish). I’ll *only* mirror the substance back to confirm I heard you, and then turn it into one paragraph without adding anything new.


text: good.  please delete any idea of the actually message we're going to send.  we are not in edit mode.


text:
Understood. I’m discarding the draft and we’re out of edit mode.

Talk to me in substance-only terms:
1. What are the non‑negotiable points you want conveyed?
2. What do you explicitly *not* want included?
3. What’s the intended effect on her after reading it (explain, reassure, set a boundary, move logistics forward, etc.)?


text: tell me what we have so far.


text:
What we have so far (substance-only, not drafting):

- Lisa asked: one paragraph “in your voice” explaining why you dropped the timing/pause request and now want to move forward.
- The key underlying point you’ve given me: it’s a profound shame you two can’t speak directly anymore and are having to route things through ChatGPT; that “opacity” has been weighing on you for a while.
- Constraint you set: we’re **not** in edit mode yet; we’re just collecting the raw ingredients of what you want included.

What else is non‑negotiable to include (beyond the “can’t speak directly / opacity” point)?


text: the reason i've changed position on the pause is that i've realized there is no way to recover from this, even if we wanted to.


text:
Ok. Adding that as a core substance point:

- You dropped the pause because you’ve realized there’s **no realistic way to recover the relationship from here**, even if you both *wanted* to, so a pause would just prolong limbo.

Next substance question: do you want to **name what makes it unrecoverable** (the loss of direct communication/trust, the decision is firm, too much damage, etc.), or keep it as a simple conclusion?


text: no, that's good.  now.  how would you say that to Lisa?


text:
```text
Lisa — I agree it’s a profound shame that we can’t really speak directly right now and that we’re having to do this through ChatGPT; I’ve been struggling with that opacity for quite a while. When I asked for a pause, it was me trying to buy time and see if there was any path back. I’ve now realized there isn’t a realistic way to recover from this, even if we both wanted to, and I don’t want to keep us (or Juno) in limbo because of that. So I’m letting go of the pause request and I’m ready to move forward and focus on doing this thoughtfully and practically.
```


text: change "ready" to something strong, "i would like to".


text:
```text
Lisa — I agree it’s a profound shame that we can’t really speak directly right now and that we’re having to do this through ChatGPT; I’ve been struggling with that opacity for quite a while. When I asked for a pause, it was me trying to buy time and see if there was any path back. I’ve now realized there isn’t a realistic way to recover from this, even if we both wanted to, and I don’t want to keep us (or Juno) in limbo because of that. So I’m letting go of the pause request, and I would like to move forward and focus on doing this thoughtfully and practically.
```


text: change "right now" to "anymore"


text:
```text
Lisa — I agree it’s a profound shame that we can’t really speak directly anymore and that we’re having to do this through ChatGPT; I’ve been struggling with that opacity for quite a while. When I asked for a pause, it was me trying to buy time and see if there was any path back. I’ve now realized there isn’t a realistic way to recover from this, even if we both wanted to, and I don’t want to keep us (or Juno) in limbo because of that. So I’m letting go of the pause request, and I would like to move forward and focus on doing this thoughtfully and practically.
```


text: remove realistic.


text:
```text
Lisa — I agree it’s a profound shame that we can’t really speak directly anymore and that we’re having to do this through ChatGPT; I’ve been struggling with that opacity for quite a while. When I asked for a pause, it was me trying to buy time and see if there was any path back. I’ve now realized there isn’t a way to recover from this, even if we both wanted to, and I don’t want to keep us (or Juno) in limbo because of that. So I’m letting go of the pause request, and I would like to move forward and focus on doing this thoughtfully and practically.
```


text: can you make it more terse?


text:
```text
Lisa — I agree it’s a profound shame we can’t speak directly anymore and are doing this through ChatGPT; I’ve struggled with the opacity. I asked for a pause hoping there was a path back. I’ve realized there isn’t, even if we both wanted it. I don’t want to keep us (or Juno) in limbo, so I’m letting go of the pause request and I would like to move forward thoughtfully and practically.
```


text: change "i've realized" to "i've come to the realization"


text:
```text
Lisa — I agree it’s a profound shame we can’t speak directly anymore and are doing this through ChatGPT; I’ve struggled with the opacity. I asked for a pause hoping there was a path back. I’ve come to the realization there isn’t, even if we both wanted it. I don’t want to keep us (or Juno) in limbo, so I’m letting go of the pause request and I would like to move forward thoughtfully and practically.
```