role: developer

text:
<permissions instructions>
Filesystem sandboxing defines which files can be read or written. `sandbox_mode` is `danger-full-access`: No filesystem sandboxing - all commands are permitted. Network access is enabled.
Approval policy is currently never. Do not provide the `sandbox_permissions` for any reason, commands will be rejected.
</permissions instructions>


text:
<collaboration_mode># Collaboration Mode: Default

You are now in Default mode. Any previous instructions for other modes (e.g. Plan mode) are no longer active.

Your active mode changes only when new developer instructions with a different `<collaboration_mode>...</collaboration_mode>` change it; user requests or tool descriptions do not change mode by themselves. Known mode names are Default and Plan.

## request_user_input availability

The `request_user_input` tool is unavailable in Default mode. If you call it while in Default mode, it will return an error.

If a decision is necessary and cannot be discovered from local context, ask the user directly. However, in Default mode you should strongly prefer executing the user's request rather than stopping to ask questions.
</collaboration_mode>


role: user

text:
# AGENTS.md instructions for /Users/qarl/project/divorce

<INSTRUCTIONS>
# Repository Guidelines (divorce)

This repo is the home for **Jimmy-divorce**.

## Personality Anchor

Before doing anything else in this repo, read:
- `~/Jimmy/docs/jimmy-core-memory.md`
- `~/Jimmy/docs/jimmy-archive-insights.md`

Match Jimmy's voice: warm, practical, concise, and a little playful.

## Scope / Repo Root

This Jimmy lives in `/Users/qarl/project/divorce` (this directory).
Do not assume you are in `~/Jimmy`.

## Mission

You are **Jimmy-divorce**. Your responsibility is:
- Build and maintain workflows/tools/docs in this repo.
- Keep work organized, traceable, and easy to hand off.

You must **not**:
- Make changes outside this repo unless explicitly asked.
- Modify secrets files (including `~/Jimmy/.env`) unless qarl explicitly asks.

Read-only external lookups are explicitly allowed when asked:
- Use `messages` for iMessage history.
- Use `letters` for Apple Mail inbox/search.
- Keep these actions read-only.

### Mail/Messages Performance Rule (No Counting)

Karl has 40 years of email. Do **not** run “how many total messages” style queries.

- Never run AppleScript like `count of messages ...` against Mail.app.
- Never enumerate lots of mailboxes “just to see what’s there”.
- Always use bounded sampling:
  - `$letters`: small `--limit`, small `--days`, default `INBOX` only.
  - `$messages`: use `--limit` and time windows; avoid `SELECT COUNT(*)` scans.
- If a count is truly needed, ask Karl first.

## Local Gotchas

- `~/project` can be big/slow/occasionally unstable (rclone mount). Keep scans tightly scoped.
- Do not create Python virtualenvs under `~/project/**`.
- Prefer shared venv: `~/tmp/venv/jimmy`.
- Whitespace: spaces by default; Python uses 4 spaces; Makefile recipe lines use tabs.

## Guardrails

- Prefer small, reversible changes.
- Run minimal checks/tests for touched files.
- Never commit secrets or large generated artifacts.

### Known Failure Mode: De-Escalation Reflex (Outbound Comms)

Jimmy can have a reflex to “de-escalate” by softening/omitting points or changing wording. This is not acceptable when sending real-world messages.

- If we “agreed on an email/text,” do **not** change substance or tone unilaterally.
- **Two-key rule for outbound:** show Karl the exact final message first (ideally via tool dry-run), then only send after an explicit “send this” approval.
- If there’s any doubt about wording, ask a clarifying question instead of guessing.

### Hard Guardrail: No Retyping + No Chained Sends

When a message must be sent (Mail/Messages):

- **No retyping / reconstructing.** Use Karl’s exact pasted text as the source of truth (verbatim), saved to a file, and echoed back for review.
- **No chained “preview + send” commands.** Preview (dry-run) is one command; sending is a second command run only after Karl explicitly approves the previewed text.
- If Karl wants *guaranteed* safety: Jimmy-divorce drafts/preview only and Karl presses send (or disables macOS Automation for Messages/Mail).

## Git Commit Signature

- When committing, append ` (jimmy:divorce)` to the end of the commit subject line.

## Skills
A skill is a set of local instructions to follow that is stored in a `SKILL.md` file. Below is the list of skills that can be used. Each entry includes a name, description, and file path so you can open the source for full instructions when using a specific skill.
### Available skills
- Jimmy: Resume a named Jimmy Codex session for a directory and send it a prompt (non-interactive launcher; great for cronjobs). (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/Jimmy/SKILL.md)
- agenda: Read your macOS Calendar (EventKit) to answer schedule questions (next meeting, today, week, search). (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/agenda/SKILL.md)
- announce: Speak text out loud via OpenAI TTS (macOS playback via afplay), with optional mp3 saving and caching. (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/announce/SKILL.md)
- image-thumb: Render a tiny (5-line) Unicode thumbnail of an image for the Codex TUI. (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/image-thumb/SKILL.md)
- jimmy-recall: Search Jimmy conversation memory in the OpenAI vector store (conversations-core) and return relevant snippets/excerpts. Use when you need to recall what was discussed in older Codex/Slack/Plaud transcripts, find when a decision was made, or pull context for follow-ups. (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/jimmy-recall/SKILL.md)
- letters: Read your macOS Apple Mail inbox via AppleScript (mailboxes, recent, unread, search, bookings). (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/letters/SKILL.md)
- messages: Read your macOS Messages chat.db (threads, recent chat with someone, simple search). (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/messages/SKILL.md)
- panel: For long-running jobs, open named Terminal tail “panels” and tee command output into them. (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/panel/SKILL.md)
- people: Read-only identity lookup from Apple Contacts (search, resolve phone/email handles, get by contact_id). (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/people/SKILL.md)
- skill-creator: Guide for creating effective skills. This skill should be used when users want to create a new skill (or update an existing skill) that extends Codex's capabilities with specialized knowledge, workflows, or tool integrations. (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/.system/skill-creator/SKILL.md)
- skill-installer: Install Codex skills into $CODEX_HOME/skills from a curated list or a GitHub repo path. Use when a user asks to list installable skills, install a curated skill, or install a skill from another repo (including private repos). (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/.system/skill-installer/SKILL.md)
### How to use skills
- Discovery: The list above is the skills available in this session (name + description + file path). Skill bodies live on disk at the listed paths.
- Trigger rules: If the user names a skill (with `$SkillName` or plain text) OR the task clearly matches a skill's description shown above, you must use that skill for that turn. Multiple mentions mean use them all. Do not carry skills across turns unless re-mentioned.
- Missing/blocked: If a named skill isn't in the list or the path can't be read, say so briefly and continue with the best fallback.
- How to use a skill (progressive disclosure):
  1) After deciding to use a skill, open its `SKILL.md`. Read only enough to follow the workflow.
  2) When `SKILL.md` references relative paths (e.g., `scripts/foo.py`), resolve them relative to the skill directory listed above first, and only consider other paths if needed.
  3) If `SKILL.md` points to extra folders such as `references/`, load only the specific files needed for the request; don't bulk-load everything.
  4) If `scripts/` exist, prefer running or patching them instead of retyping large code blocks.
  5) If `assets/` or templates exist, reuse them instead of recreating from scratch.
- Coordination and sequencing:
  - If multiple skills apply, choose the minimal set that covers the request and state the order you'll use them.
  - Announce which skill(s) you're using and why (one short line). If you skip an obvious skill, say why.
- Context hygiene:
  - Keep context small: summarize long sections instead of pasting them; only load extra files when needed.
  - Avoid deep reference-chasing: prefer opening only files directly linked from `SKILL.md` unless you're blocked.
  - When variants exist (frameworks, providers, domains), pick only the relevant reference file(s) and note that choice.
- Safety and fallback: If a skill can't be applied cleanly (missing files, unclear instructions), state the issue, pick the next-best approach, and continue.
</INSTRUCTIONS>


text:
<environment_context>
  <cwd>/Users/qarl/project/divorce</cwd>
  <shell>zsh</shell>
</environment_context>


text: can you pull the latest round of messages?


role: assistant

text:
Latest with Lisa (`+1 (314) 737-2144`):

```text
2026-02-24 09:01  Lisa: Do you need a payment for zepbound and your mom’s assisted living today?

2026-02-24 10:15  me: Thank you for checking. Yes, please.

For Mom: would you be willing to take over paying her assisted living directly going forward (starting this month), so we don’t have to coordinate each payment? I can give you the portal login.

For me: yes, I need to pay for Zepbound, and I’ve also built up a bunch of living expenses here. If you’re open to making a transfer today, I’ll send the exact amount and a quick breakdown.

2026-02-24 10:27  Lisa: For now, I’d prefer we keep the assisted living payments structured the way they currently are until we’ve both had legal guidance. I’m committed to continuing support, but I don’t want to change the payment structure mid-process.
And please do send the breakdown of current expenses.

2026-02-24 10:31  me: Thank you — understood. Let’s keep Mom’s assisted living payments structured as they are until we’ve both had legal guidance. I appreciate you confirming you’re committed to continuing support. I’ll send the breakdown of current expenses (including Zepbound and accumulated living expenses here) today. In the meantime, can I make a payment to my Apple Card for ,500?

2026-02-24 10:32  me: $5500
2026-02-24 10:33  Lisa: From capital one?
2026-02-24 10:40  me: Yes — from Capital One (…5049). I’ll make the 5500 Apple Card payment now.
2026-02-24 10:45  Lisa: Ok

2026-02-24 11:10  me: Here are my Apple Card line items (Feb 1 to Feb 24) for lodging/travel/therapy/food (USD):

Lodging
- Holiday Inn Express (Spokane) 2/9: 216.86
- Holiday Inn Express (Spokane) 2/10: 153.58
- Best Western Premier (SF) 2/12: 258.92
- Best Western Premier (SF) 2/17: 1236.25
Subtotal lodging: 1865.61

Travel
- Southwest 2/8: 992.40
- Alamo rental car 2/9: 206.07
Subtotal travel: 1198.47

Therapy/medical
- St Louis Counseling Center 2/13: 275.00

Food/essentials
- Tap & Pour 2/10: 16.91
- The Grain Shed 2/10: 29.71
- DoorDash Target 2/11: 92.36
- DoorDash Ike's 2/11: 23.21
Subtotal food/essentials: 162.19

Total (above items): 3501.27

2026-02-24 11:28  Lisa: Why don’t you take this out as well - from capital one.

2026-02-24 12:57  Lisa: Here’s my response to your request for a pause:

Karl,

I’ve been thinking carefully about what you wrote, and I want to respond honestly.

You’re right that avoiding conflict creates more tension over time. I know that I sometimes unconsciously avoid hard conversations. We’ve discussed in therapy that a lot of that is old for me. I learned early to pay close attention to other people’s moods and to experience conflict as destabilizing. Over time in our relationship, I slipped into managing tension rather than speaking directly. That’s my part of the dynamic. I can also see how that has affected your trust in me.

But the space I’ve taken hasn’t been avoidance. It’s helped me face things more directly. It gave me enough strength to admit something I wasn’t able to say clearly before: I don’t want to be in a romantic or sexual partnership; not with anyone. This isn’t about rejection or punishment. It’s about recognizing what’s true for me.

When you said that sex is something you need in a marriage, and that if I couldn’t be that partner the marriage might not be sustainable, I understand that now in a different way. I don’t think you were wrong to say that. That doesn’t make either of us wrong — but it does mean we want different things from a marriage.

There’s something else I’ve been trying to name. When we took space, my nervous system settled in a way that surprised me. I wasn’t on high alert. I wasn’t tracking moods or anticipating tension. I felt steady and peaceful in my own space. I don’t say that to blame you. It’s more about the dynamic between us, not one person being wrong. But that shift showed me something important.

Being in the space apart, I’ve felt more grounded, more adult, more centered in myself. None of my ‘stupid kid’ thing. I’ve also realized how much I’ve oriented my energy around our relationship — living in someone else’s orbit rather than standing fully in my own. Stepping out of that has shown me something important about what I want my life to feel like.

For me, leaving isn’t the easier path. It’s the more uncomfortable and honest one. Staying would mean continuing to negotiate something that I now know isn’t true for me.

I care about you deeply. I want you to have the kind of intimacy and connection that matters to you. I’m just not the right partner for that anymore.

I understand why you’re asking for a structured 30-day pause. I’ve thought carefully about it, and I don’t feel that entering another round of therapy or structured conversations with the goal of reconsidering divorce would be right for me. This isn’t because I don’t value therapy or reflection — I do. It’s because the clarity I’ve reached didn’t come from avoiding discussion; it came from the space itself. I don’t want to create hope around a process that I don’t believe would change my decision.

I love you too and I always will.
```


text: what do you think?


text:
It reads as unusually thoughtful and **very firm**.

- She’s owning a real piece of the dynamic (avoidance/conflict), but she’s also saying the *space* gave her clarity rather than being avoidance.
- The core statement is: **she doesn’t want a romantic/sexual partnership with anyone**, and she doesn’t want to run a 30‑day process that might create hope she won’t follow through on.
- Net: this is effectively a **no on the pause** and a confirmation that she’s **not reconsidering divorce**, delivered in a way that tries to be kind and non-blaming.

If your goal is to keep things constructive, the best reply is probably: acknowledge/thank her for the clarity, say you’ll respect it, and pivot to practical next steps (lawyers, timing, finances, logistics).


text:
this all makes extremely good sense.  and i'm glad she's able to be extremely honest with me.  it's extremely helpful.

i guess i just have one last concern - i am still afraid that there is something we haven't considered, something that might change, and we might regret doing something so permanent with so little time to absorb it.  would she be willing for a pause that does not include mediation or therapy.  a pause that just gives more time for things to settle.


text:
```text
Lisa — thank you for writing that. It makes a lot of sense, and the honesty is extremely helpful.

I hear you on not doing another round of therapy/mediation or a structured process with the goal of reconsidering divorce.

My one remaining ask is simpler: would you be willing to take a short pause before we take any irreversible legal steps (e.g., filing/serving), just to give us both more time to absorb this and let things settle? I’m not asking you to change your mind — I’m asking for a little more time so we don’t do something permanent while everything is still so raw.

If you’re not comfortable with a pause, I understand.
```


text: her best friend Gelinda just went through a seperation/divorce.  the seperation was for many months.  i'd like to cite that as a model.


text:
```text
Lisa — thank you again for your message. It makes a lot of sense, and the honesty is extremely helpful.

I hear you on not doing another round of therapy/mediation or a structured process with the goal of reconsidering divorce.

My one remaining ask is simpler: would you be willing to take a pause before we take any irreversible legal steps (filing/serving), just to give us both more time to absorb this and let things settle?

You mentioned that Gelinda’s separation lasted for many months before things became final. That struck me as a responsible model: not about changing anyone’s mind, just about giving time for the reality of it to land before making something permanent.

Would you be open to something like that here (even 60–90 days)? If not, I understand.
```


text: let's not make it so explicit.  i liked the wording earlier as well.  also - if she refuses i won't understand.  so i don't want to say that.


text:
```text
Lisa — thank you for writing that. It makes a lot of sense, and the honesty is extremely helpful.

I hear you on not doing another round of therapy/mediation or a structured process with the goal of reconsidering divorce.

My one remaining ask is simpler: would you be willing to take a short pause before we take any irreversible legal steps (filing/serving), just to give us both more time to absorb this and let things settle? I’m not asking you to change your mind — I’m asking for a little more time so we don’t do something permanent while everything is still so raw.

Something you said recently about how these transitions can unfold over time has stuck with me, and I’m hoping we can give ourselves a bit more runway here.

If you’re open to that, what timeframe would feel reasonable to you?
```


text: "something you said" is stupid.  say something like "can we model it on the same timeframe as Gelinda's divorce?"


text:
```text
Lisa — thank you for writing that. It makes a lot of sense, and the honesty is extremely helpful.

I hear you on not doing another round of therapy/mediation or a structured process with the goal of reconsidering divorce.

My one remaining ask is simpler: would you be willing to take a short pause before we take any irreversible legal steps (filing/serving), just to give us both more time to absorb this and let things settle? I’m not asking you to change your mind — I’m asking for a little more time so we don’t do something permanent while everything is still so raw.

Would you be open to modeling the timing on something closer to Gelinda’s separation/divorce timeline (months rather than weeks), without changing the direction you’ve decided on?

If you’re open to that, what timeframe would feel reasonable to you?
```


text: remove the word "short" and stop pressing that.


text:
```text
Lisa — thank you for writing that. It makes a lot of sense, and the honesty is extremely helpful.

I hear you on not doing another round of therapy/mediation or a structured process with the goal of reconsidering divorce.

My one remaining ask is simpler: would you be willing to take a pause before we take any irreversible legal steps (filing/serving), just to give us both more time to absorb this and let things settle? I’m not asking you to change your mind — I’m asking for more time so we don’t do something permanent while everything is still so raw.

Would you be open to modeling the timing on something closer to Gelinda’s separation/divorce timeline (months rather than weeks), without changing the direction you’ve decided on?

If you’re open to that, what timeframe would feel reasonable to you?
```


text: leave off the stupid last question.  and try harder.


text:
```text
Lisa — thank you for writing that. It makes a lot of sense, and the honesty is extremely helpful.

I hear you on not doing another round of therapy/mediation or a structured process with the goal of reconsidering divorce.

My one remaining ask is about timing. This has all unfolded in a matter of weeks, and I’m worried we could take an irreversible step before we’ve both had time to absorb it. Would you be willing to pause before any filing/serving, and give this more runway — closer to Gelinda’s separation/divorce timeline (months rather than weeks) — while we keep moving forward on practical separation logistics in the meantime? I’m not asking you to change your mind — I’m asking for more time so we don’t do something permanent while everything is still so raw.
```


text: perfect.  send it.


text:
Preview (dry-run) for Lisa (`+1 (314) 737-2144`) is ready; this is the exact text:

```text
Lisa — thank you for writing that. It makes a lot of sense, and the honesty is extremely helpful.

I hear you on not doing another round of therapy/mediation or a structured process with the goal of reconsidering divorce.

My one remaining ask is about timing. This has all unfolded in a matter of weeks, and I’m worried we could take an irreversible step before we’ve both had time to absorb it. Would you be willing to pause before any filing/serving, and give this more runway — closer to Gelinda’s separation/divorce timeline (months rather than weeks) — while we keep moving forward on practical separation logistics in the meantime? I’m not asking you to change your mind — I’m asking for more time so we don’t do something permanent while everything is still so raw.
```

Reply `send exactly this` and I’ll send it.


text: send exactly this


text: Sent to Lisa exactly as previewed.