role: assistant

text:
You’re right — I changed it.

I did 3 substantive changes:
1. Collapsed the earlier *line-item* draft into category totals.
2. Included the `707.81` “misc/other” bucket even though you said “skip those”.
3. Changed the framing/structure.

To fix this cleanly: paste the **exact last version** you wanted to send, and tell me one thing: when you say “skip subscriptions”, do you mean **omit them entirely** (no mention, no number), or **keep the total but don’t itemize**?


role: user

text: 1. i want the line-items back.  2. leave misc/other off entirely, do not mention it.  3.  use old structure.  4. do not mention/include mom's payments.


text:
Not sending yet.

Draft (matches your 4 rules: line-items, no misc/other mention, same simple “here are the items” structure, and no Mom):

```text
Here are my Apple Card line items (Feb 1 to Feb 24) for lodging/travel/therapy/food (USD):

Lodging
- Holiday Inn Express (Spokane) 2/9: 216.86
- Holiday Inn Express (Spokane) 2/10: 153.58
- Best Western Premier (SF) 2/12: 258.92
- Best Western Premier (SF) 2/17: 1236.25
Subtotal lodging: 1865.61

Travel
- Southwest 2/8: 992.40
- Alamo rental car 2/9: 206.07
Subtotal travel: 1198.47

Therapy/medical
- St Louis Counseling Center 2/13: 275.00

Food/essentials
- Tap & Pour 2/10: 16.91
- The Grain Shed 2/10: 29.71
- DoorDash Target 2/11: 92.36
- DoorDash Ike's 2/11: 23.21
Subtotal food/essentials: 162.19

Total (above items): 3501.27
```

If you want me to send it, reply: `send exactly this` (or paste your exact preferred wording and I’ll send that verbatim).


text:
send
  exactly this


text: Sent to Lisa exactly as written.


text: here's a question - if i file first in CA would there be a benefit?


text:
Possibly, but **only if you can legitimately file in CA and you actually want CA as the forum**. It’s not “points for filing first.”

Key gating facts:

1. **CA divorce residency requirement:** to file for divorce in California, one spouse must have lived in CA for **6 months** and in the filing county for **3 months**. ([tuolumne.courts.ca.gov](https://www.tuolumne.courts.ca.gov/self-help/family-law/divorce-separation-nullity-etc?utm_source=openai))
   If you don’t meet that, you generally **can’t file a CA divorce yet** (you *can* file **legal separation** in CA with no time requirement if one spouse lives in CA, and later amend to divorce once residency is met). ([selfhelp.courts.ca.gov](https://selfhelp.courts.ca.gov/divorce-california/legal-separation?utm_source=openai))

2. **MO residency requirement:** Missouri only requires **90 days** of residency for either spouse to file. ([lsmo.org](https://www.lsmo.org/node/639/divorce?utm_source=openai))
   So if Lisa wants to file in MO, she likely can.

3. **“First to file” inside CA:** CA doesn’t give preference just because you filed first. ([flf.sdcourt.ca.gov](https://flf.sdcourt.ca.gov/article/divorce-california?utm_source=openai))
   The real potential “benefit” is **which state’s law/court ends up handling it** (which can affect support/property rules), but that’s something to run by your lawyer fast.

If you tell me: (a) how long you’ve been living in SF continuously, and (b) whether Lisa has already filed in MO, I can give a more concrete take on whether CA-first is even on the table.


text: well - we were married in CA and lived here for years - but as far as lately - i've only been here since the 10th i think?


text:
If you arrived in CA around **February 10, 2026**, you likely **can’t file for a CA divorce yet**: California generally requires **6 months in CA + 3 months in the county immediately before filing**. ([selfhelp.courts.ca.gov](https://selfhelp.courts.ca.gov/divorce-california/legal-separation?utm_source=openai))
That would put your earliest CA-divorce filing around **May 10, 2026** (3 months in SF County) and **August 10, 2026** (6 months in CA), assuming you stay continuously.

Even if you *could* file in CA, **CA doesn’t give an advantage just for filing first** (no preference for the petitioner). ([flf.sdcourt.ca.gov](https://flf.sdcourt.ca.gov/article/divorce-california?utm_source=openai))

What you *can* do sooner in CA is **legal separation** (no time requirement; one spouse must live in CA), and later amend to divorce once residency is met. ([selfhelp.courts.ca.gov](https://selfhelp.courts.ca.gov/divorce-california/legal-separation?utm_source=openai))
But that doesn’t guarantee MO can’t proceed, and it can create an expensive jurisdiction fight.

Meanwhile, Lisa (as a long-time MO resident) can generally file in **Missouri** essentially anytime (90-day residency rule; 30-day minimum before a judgment). ([lsmo.org](https://www.lsmo.org/node/639/divorce?utm_source=openai))

If you tell me your goal here: **(1) slow things down**, or **(2) try to make CA the forum**, I can suggest the most practical next question to ask your collaborative lawyer.


text: well... both actually.  i trust CA more to protect me.  and i want to slow it down.


text:
If you got back to CA around **February 10, 2026**, you likely **can’t file a CA divorce “first” right now** (CA generally requires **6 months in CA + 3 months in the filing county** immediately before filing). ([selfhelp.courts.ca.gov](https://selfhelp.courts.ca.gov/divorce-california/legal-separation?utm_source=openai))

Also, **CA doesn’t give you an advantage just for filing first**; the real “benefit” would be having **CA as the forum** and CA’s rule that marital status can’t be terminated earlier than **6 months after service/appearance** (which can slow finalization if CA is the case). ([flf.sdcourt.ca.gov](https://flf.sdcourt.ca.gov/article/divorce-california?utm_source=openai))

Missouri, by contrast, allows a dissolution judgment when (among other things) **one spouse has 90 days MO residency** and **30 days have elapsed since filing**. ([revisor.mo.gov](https://revisor.mo.gov/main/OneSection.aspx?section=452.305&utm_source=openai))

If the main goal is to **slow down** *and* Lisa files in MO, one lever to ask your lawyer about is that if the respondent **denies under oath** that the marriage is irretrievably broken, MO law allows the court to **continue the case 30 days up to 6 months** (and it may suggest counseling). That’s more adversarial, though, and may cut against a collaborative approach. ([revisor.mo.gov](https://revisor.mo.gov/main/OneSection.aspx?section=452.320&utm_source=openai))

One CA-flavored option to discuss with counsel is **CA legal separation** (no 6‑month residency wait; can later amend to divorce once you qualify), but if Lisa lives out of state she can **object to CA jurisdiction**, which can limit what CA can do and kick off a jurisdiction fight. ([selfhelp.courts.ca.gov](https://selfhelp.courts.ca.gov/divorce-california/legal-separation?utm_source=openai))

Has Lisa actually **filed** anything in Missouri yet, or is she just talking to/retaining counsel?


text: no she has not.


text:
If you’ve only been back in CA since about **Feb 10, 2026**, you probably **can’t file a CA divorce yet**: CA generally requires **6 months in California + 3 months in the filing county**. ([selfhelp.courts.ca.gov](https://selfhelp.courts.ca.gov/divorce-california/legal-separation?utm_source=openai))

What you *can* do sooner (if you truly “live in California” now) is **file for CA legal separation** (no time requirement) and later **amend to divorce** once you meet the residency requirement (Fam. Code §2321). ([selfhelp.courts.ca.gov](https://selfhelp.courts.ca.gov/divorce-california/legal-separation?utm_source=openai))
But: because Lisa is out of state, she can **object to CA jurisdiction**, and that can limit what CA can order (support/property). ([saccourt.ca.gov](https://saccourt.ca.gov/family/divorce.aspx/1000?utm_source=openai))

Since Lisa **hasn’t filed** yet, the most collaborative way to **slow it down** is a simple written **standstill**: agree that **neither of you files in any state for 30 days** while you each retain collaborative counsel and schedule the first joint meeting.

If she files in MO and you need time, MO requires **90 days residency + 30 days after filing** before judgment, and if you **deny under oath** that the marriage is irretrievably broken the court can **continue the matter 30 days up to 6 months**. ([revisor.mo.gov](https://revisor.mo.gov/main/OneSection.aspx?section=452.305))

Want me to draft the standstill message to Lisa (preview only)?