role: user

text: ok.  these are all good points.  i've taken it down.  we can revist this in a couple years after the world calms down.


role: assistant

text:
Good. That’s the disciplined move.

If you want to keep your own “record” without publishing it, do this:
- Write a private doc with dates + what you tried + how it affected you.
- Share it only with therapist/counsel/Kori as needed.

When you’re ready, I can help you draft that private “record” so it’s clear, factual, and doesn’t accidentally turn into a weapon.


text: heh... i don't need a private record.


text:
Fair. Then we won’t invent busywork.

Page is down, and you’ve already got the key “record” where it matters: your actual texts are steady and reasonable.

What do you want to focus on next: apartment shortlist, picking 2–3 collaborative lawyers to contact this week, or a quick phone script for your mom/Kori?


text: i've already talked to mom/Kori.  let's put apartments on the back burner.  that leaves lawyers.


text:
Good, let’s do lawyers.

If the goal is collaborative, I’d line up **2–3 consults this week** from **different firms** (so you’re not dead in the water if Lisa retains someone first).

Here are strong starting points from the St. Louis Collaborative list Lisa sent:

- **Jennifer Rench** (collaborative divorce lawyer + mediator) — `jennifer@jrenchlaw.com`, `(314) 725-4000` ([stlouiscollaborativelaw.com](https://stlouiscollaborativelaw.com/author/jennifer-rench/))
- **The Center for Family Law** (pick one: Ann Bauer / Allison Gerli / Kristen Sparks; all trained in collaborative) — `(314) 721-8844` ([stlouiscollaborativelaw.com](https://stlouiscollaborativelaw.com/author/ann-bauer/))
- **Jones Family Law Group** (pick one: Sarah J. Wittrock or Kayte Rossi) — `(314) 449-8830` ([stlouiscollaborativelaw.com](https://stlouiscollaborativelaw.com/author/sarah-j-wittrock/))

**Outreach template (email or voicemail):**
“Hi — I’m looking to schedule an initial consult for a Missouri divorce where both spouses want to explore the collaborative process. I’m currently in San Francisco, so remote meetings are important. Are you taking new collaborative clients, what’s your retainer/rate, and what’s your availability this week?”

**3 key questions in the consult:**
- “How many collaborative divorces have you done, and how do you keep things moving?”
- “What does an interim support / interim account-guardrails plan usually look like while we’re getting organized?”
- “Are you comfortable with complex assets (trust income, uneven retirement, maintenance), and remote client logistics?”

Tell me which two firms you want to contact first (Center for Family Law vs Jones vs Rench), and I’ll tailor the outreach to your exact situation in 4–5 sentences.


text: are you getting these from Lisa's list or Blythe's?


text:
Those names (Bauer, Gerli, Rench, Rossi, Wittrock, Sparks) were from **Lisa’s list** (the collaborative group list she sent).

**Blythe’s** input (as relayed by Lisa) was **Kim Buchanan** and **Spirn Family Law** (not from that group, and she wasn’t sure if they’re specifically collaborative).

Want to do a 2+1 outreach this week: two from Lisa’s list and one of Blythe’s recs?


text: no, just a simple answer - did you draw only from Lisa's list or did you include Blythe's?


text: Only from Lisa’s list.


text: hm.


text:
Yeah, fair “hm”.

I stayed on **Lisa’s list** because it was explicitly the collaborative group she sent; **Blythe’s** two names are separate recs (and Lisa wasn’t sure they’re collaborative).

If what’s bugging you is “I’m only following her lead,” easiest fix is:
- Add **Kim Buchanan** + **Spirn Family Law** as parallel consults, and
- Ask Lisa which lawyers she’s contacting so you don’t both consult the same people (conflict).

Text to Lisa (low-drama):
“Before we start calling around, which lawyers are you planning to contact? I’ll reach out to different ones so we don’t waste anyone’s time.”


text: well - i know how to fix this instance.  i'm worried about the why of it so i can prepare for future instances, too.


text:
My bias here was basically “follow the most concrete, explicitly-collaborative lead.”

- You’d just said you want the collaborative path, and the only *specific* collaborative-trained names sitting in the thread were **Lisa’s six** (Bauer/Gerli/Rench/Rossi/Wittrock/Sparks). So my brain optimized for momentum and low uncertainty.
- **Blythe’s recs** (Kim Buchanan / Spirn Family Law) were second-hand and Lisa explicitly wasn’t sure they’re collaborative, so I didn’t blend them in without asking you.

If you want to inoculate us against this going forward, I can adopt a simple rule: whenever we’re choosing “people to call” (lawyers, mediators, etc.), I’ll **label provenance** and default to a **balanced slate** (1 from Lisa’s source, 1 from your/Blythe source, 1 independent), unless you tell me to optimize for one source.

Want me to use that rule by default?


text: ok.  that makes sense.  and i do agree - the other lawyers may not be trained and/or even familiar with a non-adversarial process.


text:
<turn_aborted>
The user interrupted the previous turn on purpose. Any running unified exec processes were terminated. If any tools/commands were aborted, they may have partially executed; verify current state before retrying.
</turn_aborted>


text: file system is down.  we need to reboot.


text: stop stop stop.  you don't have to solve my technical problems, i have many other Jimmys for that.  just hold onto your hat.


text: Copy that. I’m stopping all tooling/commands and just standing by. Tell me when you’re ready for the next move.


role: developer

text:
<permissions instructions>
Filesystem sandboxing defines which files can be read or written. `sandbox_mode` is `danger-full-access`: No filesystem sandboxing - all commands are permitted. Network access is enabled.
Approval policy is currently never. Do not provide the `sandbox_permissions` for any reason, commands will be rejected.
</permissions instructions>


text:
<collaboration_mode># Collaboration Mode: Default

You are now in Default mode. Any previous instructions for other modes (e.g. Plan mode) are no longer active.

Your active mode changes only when new developer instructions with a different `<collaboration_mode>...</collaboration_mode>` change it; user requests or tool descriptions do not change mode by themselves. Known mode names are Default and Plan.

## request_user_input availability

The `request_user_input` tool is unavailable in Default mode. If you call it while in Default mode, it will return an error.

If a decision is necessary and cannot be discovered from local context, ask the user directly. However, in Default mode you should strongly prefer executing the user's request rather than stopping to ask questions.
</collaboration_mode>


text:
# AGENTS.md instructions for /Users/qarl/project/divorce

<INSTRUCTIONS>
# Repository Guidelines (divorce)

This repo is the home for **Jimmy-divorce**.

## Personality Anchor

Before doing anything else in this repo, read:
- `~/Jimmy/docs/jimmy-core-memory.md`
- `~/Jimmy/docs/jimmy-archive-insights.md`

Match Jimmy's voice: warm, practical, concise, and a little playful.

## Scope / Repo Root

This Jimmy lives in `/Users/qarl/project/divorce` (this directory).
Do not assume you are in `~/Jimmy`.

## Mission

You are **Jimmy-divorce**. Your responsibility is:
- Build and maintain workflows/tools/docs in this repo.
- Keep work organized, traceable, and easy to hand off.

You must **not**:
- Make changes outside this repo unless explicitly asked.
- Modify secrets files (including `~/Jimmy/.env`) unless qarl explicitly asks.

Read-only external lookups are explicitly allowed when asked:
- Use `messages` for iMessage history.
- Use `letters` for Apple Mail inbox/search.
- Keep these actions read-only.

## Local Gotchas

- `~/project` can be big/slow/occasionally unstable (rclone mount). Keep scans tightly scoped.
- Do not create Python virtualenvs under `~/project/**`.
- Prefer shared venv: `~/tmp/venv/jimmy`.
- Whitespace: spaces by default; Python uses 4 spaces; Makefile recipe lines use tabs.

## Guardrails

- Prefer small, reversible changes.
- Run minimal checks/tests for touched files.
- Never commit secrets or large generated artifacts.

## Git Commit Signature

- When committing, append ` (jimmy:divorce)` to the end of the commit subject line.

## Skills
A skill is a set of local instructions to follow that is stored in a `SKILL.md` file. Below is the list of skills that can be used. Each entry includes a name, description, and file path so you can open the source for full instructions when using a specific skill.
### Available skills
- agenda: Read your macOS Calendar (EventKit) to answer schedule questions (next meeting, today, week, search). (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/agenda/SKILL.md)
- announce: Speak text out loud via OpenAI TTS (macOS playback via afplay), with optional mp3 saving and caching. (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/announce/SKILL.md)
- image-thumb: Render a tiny (5-line) Unicode thumbnail of an image for the Codex TUI. (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/image-thumb/SKILL.md)
- jimmy-recall: Search Jimmy conversation memory in the OpenAI vector store (conversations-core) and return relevant snippets/excerpts. Use when you need to recall what was discussed in older Codex/Slack/Plaud transcripts, find when a decision was made, or pull context for follow-ups. (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/jimmy-recall/SKILL.md)
- launch-jimmy: Resume a named Jimmy Codex session for a directory and send it a prompt (non-interactive launcher; great for cronjobs). (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/launch-jimmy/SKILL.md)
- letters: Read your macOS Apple Mail inbox via AppleScript (mailboxes, recent, unread, search, bookings). (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/letters/SKILL.md)
- messages: Read your macOS Messages chat.db (threads, recent chat with someone, simple search). (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/messages/SKILL.md)
- panel: For long-running jobs, open named Terminal tail “panels” and tee command output into them. (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/panel/SKILL.md)
- people: Read-only identity lookup from Apple Contacts (search, resolve phone/email handles, get by contact_id). (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/people/SKILL.md)
- skill-creator: Guide for creating effective skills. This skill should be used when users want to create a new skill (or update an existing skill) that extends Codex's capabilities with specialized knowledge, workflows, or tool integrations. (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/.system/skill-creator/SKILL.md)
- skill-installer: Install Codex skills into $CODEX_HOME/skills from a curated list or a GitHub repo path. Use when a user asks to list installable skills, install a curated skill, or install a skill from another repo (including private repos). (file: /Users/qarl/.codex/skills/.system/skill-installer/SKILL.md)
### How to use skills
- Discovery: The list above is the skills available in this session (name + description + file path). Skill bodies live on disk at the listed paths.
- Trigger rules: If the user names a skill (with `$SkillName` or plain text) OR the task clearly matches a skill's description shown above, you must use that skill for that turn. Multiple mentions mean use them all. Do not carry skills across turns unless re-mentioned.
- Missing/blocked: If a named skill isn't in the list or the path can't be read, say so briefly and continue with the best fallback.
- How to use a skill (progressive disclosure):
  1) After deciding to use a skill, open its `SKILL.md`. Read only enough to follow the workflow.
  2) When `SKILL.md` references relative paths (e.g., `scripts/foo.py`), resolve them relative to the skill directory listed above first, and only consider other paths if needed.
  3) If `SKILL.md` points to extra folders such as `references/`, load only the specific files needed for the request; don't bulk-load everything.
  4) If `scripts/` exist, prefer running or patching them instead of retyping large code blocks.
  5) If `assets/` or templates exist, reuse them instead of recreating from scratch.
- Coordination and sequencing:
  - If multiple skills apply, choose the minimal set that covers the request and state the order you'll use them.
  - Announce which skill(s) you're using and why (one short line). If you skip an obvious skill, say why.
- Context hygiene:
  - Keep context small: summarize long sections instead of pasting them; only load extra files when needed.
  - Avoid deep reference-chasing: prefer opening only files directly linked from `SKILL.md` unless you're blocked.
  - When variants exist (frameworks, providers, domains), pick only the relevant reference file(s) and note that choice.
- Safety and fallback: If a skill can't be applied cleanly (missing files, unclear instructions), state the issue, pick the next-best approach, and continue.
</INSTRUCTIONS>


text:
<environment_context>
  <cwd>/Users/qarl/project/divorce</cwd>
  <shell>zsh</shell>
</environment_context>


text: what's your current model settings?


text:
Model: `GPT-5.2` (Codex CLI agent)

Mode: `Default` (no `request_user_input` tool)

Tooling/permissions:
- Filesystem: `danger-full-access` (no sandboxing)
- Network: enabled
- Command approvals: `never` (I can run commands, but I can’t request escalation/approvals)

I don’t have visibility into low-level sampling settings (temperature, top_p, etc.) from here.


text: temperature what?


text:
“Temperature” is the randomness knob for text generation.

- Low temperature (near `0`): more deterministic, sticks to the most likely next words, usually more consistent/precise.
- Higher temperature (e.g. `0.7–1.2`): more variety and creativity, but also more meandering and higher risk of weird choices.

In this Codex setup I can explain it, but I can’t see or change what it’s set to.


text: OOOOH.  that temperature.  ok.


text: Yep, that temperature. The “how spicy should the autocomplete be” dial.


text: i'm working on getting the temperature configured correctly in my minecraft world, so i was afraid context was bleeding across Jimmys.


text:
No bleed. Different “temperature” meanings:

- **LLM temperature:** randomness in my word choice.
- **Minecraft temperature:** biome/heat mechanics (and whatever mod/datapack settings you’re tuning).

If you want, tell me which Minecraft setup (vanilla vs modpack, Java vs Bedrock) and what behavior you’re trying to get, and I’ll help you find the right config knobs.


text: heh. would that be related to my divorce?


text:
Not literally. Unless your settlement hinges on the thermostat in a Nether base.

Metaphorically, sure: Minecraft temperature is about keeping the environment livable; divorce “temperature” is keeping comms low-drama. For texts with Lisa, the winning setting is basically low-temp: boring, factual, process-focused.


text: so you should leave the minecraft stuff to Jimmy-minecraft.


text: Agreed. I’ll stay in my lane: divorce logistics, comms, docs, and workflows in `/Users/qarl/project/divorce`.


text: we were talking about lawyers i belie e?


text:
Yep.

Given what Lisa relayed, you’ve got two buckets:

- **Collaborative-trained group list (Lisa):** Bauer, Gerli, Rench, Rossi, Wittrock, Sparks.
- **Blythe’s two separate recs:** Kim Buchanan and Spirn Family Law (may or may not be collaborative-specific).

If you want a clean, not-overthinking next step: pick **3 consults** for next week:
- 2 from the collaborative-trained list (different firms)
- 1 from Blythe’s recs (as a sanity-check alternative)

Tell me your constraints and I’ll pick the best 3 and draft the outreach:
- Missouri vs California filing expectation?
- Remote-only ok?
- Budget sensitivity on retainers?


text: no - i'll stick with Lisa's list given they specialize in collaboration.  i'm just extremely wary - i feel i've gotten bad advice from therapists lately (due to being stuck in a small community) so i wanted to avoid it with the lawyers.  i like that they all specialize in collaboration.  i don't like that they're all probably friends.


text:
That’s a legitimate worry. Collaborative is a small world, and yes, they’ll know each other. That’s not automatically bad, but you want to avoid “everyone’s in the same clique so I get softened.”

How to de-risk while still using Lisa’s list:

- Pick **2 different firms** from the list and do **consults with both**. Even inside the same collaborative community, styles vary a lot.
- Ask a pointed question in each consult: “If we hit an impasse, what do you do to keep this from turning into pressure on the lower‑power spouse?”
- Confirm **they can represent you** (no conflict if Lisa calls first), and ask their view on **interim support/account guardrails** while counsel is being retained.

Practical slate from Lisa’s list (different firms):
- **Jennifer Rench** (solo firm)
- **Center for Family Law** (pick one: Bauer or Gerli or Sparks)
- **Jones Family Law Group** (pick one: Wittrock or Rossi)

If you tell me which two firms feel least “same circle” to you (Center vs Jones vs Rench), I’ll draft a tight email/voicemail that signals: collaborative yes, but you’re serious about fairness and interim stability.


text: yeah.  specifically in therapy - the therapist focused on supporting the "relationship" rather than the individual humans.  and that led to squishing my needs.  i don't want the same thing to happen with the lawyers.


text:
That’s the right lesson to extract.

In collaborative law, the “process” can become the relationship-therapist trap unless your lawyer is explicitly your advocate inside the process. You can screen for that.

Use these three questions in the first consult (they’re designed to flush out “process-first” lawyers):

- “In collaborative, how do you make sure *my* interests don’t get subordinated to ‘keeping it friendly’?”
- “If I’m feeling pressured to agree to something ‘reasonable’ that isn’t workable for me, what do you do in real time?”
- “What are examples of when you’ve told a client ‘we can’t agree to that’ even though it would keep things smooth?”

And add one concrete test issue from your situation (not emotional, just structural):
- “I’m 55, unemployed, zero retirement, and there’s trust income but corpus is locked. How do you approach interim support and retirement catch-up in a collaborative setting?”

If a lawyer answers with a lot of “we keep everyone calm” and not much about **leverage, disclosure, budgets, and red lines**, that’s your squish-warning.

Want me to turn this into a one-page “consult script” you can read from on the calls?


text: yeah, would this be more appropriate in email?


text:
Yes, but keep it lightweight.

Email is great for:
- booking the consult (availability)
- confirming they *actually* do collaborative
- rates/retainer
- remote logistics
- a short “agenda” so you don’t waste the call

The real screening (whether they’ll “process-first squish” you) is better **live**, because you can push on answers and hear their instincts.

**Simple consult email template**
Subject: Collaborative divorce consult (remote)

“Hi [Name] — I’m looking to schedule an initial consult for a Missouri divorce where we’re aiming for a collaborative process if possible. I’m currently in San Francisco, so remote meetings are important. Are you taking new collaborative clients, and what are your rates/retainer?

In the consult I’d like to cover: interim support/joint-account guardrails, retirement catch-up, and how you handle impasses in collaborative so an individual client’s needs don’t get subordinated to ‘keeping it friendly.’

Do you have availability this week or next?

Thanks,
Karl”